Date of birth: Tuesday, March 22, 1949
Distinctive features: A lurch to the left
Reading habits: A page every three minutes approx
Languages spoken: Flamboyant but inaccurate French and German, 1930's English, Icelandic smatter
Medical history: Hipjoint resembles a well-used Mesolithic mortar and pestle for nerve-grinding.
Dietary requirements: Sufficiency